should I?

Dear My Beloved GOD,
why should i feel ashamed to look at myself while i'm watching over myself in the mirror?
that woman over there is looking down!
with an empty soul, she's still dancing on her behalf along with the music played
the tears started to fall, yeah she's crying now.
crying because of her weakness,
her failures,
scared to hurt others.
oh My GOD, what's wrong?

YOUR way that you lead me to, am i too far to following it?
why did i have to scream to myself?
feels like i'm not going to where i have belong to!
but can't i just say i'm tired enough and i'm surrender?
i knew it, i've promised a couple of times that i won't do that.

*sigh*
really i am scared

aaaa ~.~

what's happening on this December?
should i trapped in somewhere dark place,
when everyone enjoy the ending of the show?

again and again
i'm feel all alone.
you might see me with people.
but...

i'm in no where belongs to..
i'm here with you, but i'm living with my own sorrow.
yeah. you couldn't see it..

hufh...
how lucky me, that day save me.
and i'm realized, i'm still alive..

when i know, that might be my last day on earth..

i'm suddenly fallen.
and i didn't know why it could be?
because i'm surely, i couldn't feel anything.
no exception, a painfull though..

i just ran away, from that darkness place.
i'm scared...
how is it become real?
why its all of sudden?

i could go back to every laugh,
as i always do, when i know life was being the best part of my life
but that cannot resist that, my tears running out from my eyes..
in the middle of smile face, tears always be there.
turning down upon my face..

ima
18th of December 2009
[20:47]

HATE THIS!

when i got something BEST from the best,

ARROGANT feels free to express what i feel,

then i left behind all the minus point, accepted JUST the PLUS point.

how is it come, ima?

key: too much HOPES, DREAMS

but, I'LL NEVER KNOW that's only A LIE!

moreover, i just sitdown and lie down on a pillow

thinks more, and cry...

i'm not a PERFECT person,

but WORSTLY, I did it like i'm being THE BEST

I HATE THIS!

aku benci setengah!

aku kesal jika setengah!

lebih baik tak usah kukejar jika hasilnya setengah

hantarkan setengah dari keseluruhan itu padanya

biar Ia yang menjagaku selamanya

menggantikanmu..