I'm a loner

nah, tiba-tiba mood ngeblog bangkit
this is the best waaaaay to express my feelings, through typing :p

its not about how you always need someone to talk to
even your brain couldn't agree more that there's none for the answer
we just tired.... of the fakeness

i don't know where should i put it on my post,
i'm usually asked to myself, how is it me? is this right, where did i go wrong?

maybe its just the way i used to feel, i'm not that comfort..
people around would like to just keep silence infront of my face,
than talking me behind my back. ah this point i even won't bother

but what i want to know is, if i am that stingy... could it be that the way people's have thought might be absolutely true?like 100%?

ah i don't know which life i should put in trust and lean on.
i need a help

New post

i really don't know what to write for the very beginning of my comeback.

oke, saya mencoba mengganti tema go green dengan 'girlie pinkish' yang lebih soft..
silau juga lama-lama liat blog ijo mentereng gitu =P

welcome home everyong (^0^)/

hidup seperti apa dan bagaimana

waktu mulai memburu, membawa setiap individu menjadi lebih dewasa
mungkin perasaan gue aja, apa emang bener kalo i'm not visible?
pernah baca kalo kita merasa bener, tapi hanya 1-2 orang bermasalah dikatakan wajar,
karena memang hidup kita yang atur.
tapi mulai kepikiran, gimana kalo kondisi yang gue rasain sekarang adalah
lebih dari 2orang, mulai beda pendapat sama gue?

hell yeah, gue ga suka maksain apa opini gue harus orang lain terima.
SANGAT TIDAK RASIONAL, DAN TIDAK MANUSIAWI. nyadar juga orang hidup disekitar gue!

kesepian??????
bosan hidup?????
kecemburan mata dan emosi sesaat?????
sebenernya apa sih yang salah dari hidup yang sekarang gue lakonin?

gue selalu berusaha jadi orang baik, sangat baik kalo malah mampu.sayang ngga, haha
gue ga suka rusuh, cuma emosi yang fluktuatif belom bisa ngebawa gue jadi dewasa
terus kalo gini, gue patut jadi orang yang dituduh dan satu - satunya orang yang salah?

man, though our mouths are our death...
though i really am living with other people
WOULD THEY REALLY CARE ABOUT ME?
HAVE I HURT THEM, SO THEY CAN BLAMING ON ME, HUH?

i'm not the kid who really love to be taken care of,
but i really had enough of being like this. just tell me what's wrong?

EVENTHOUGH I REALLY FEEL I'M ALIVE, I REALLY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF!
god, i need my "medicine"

apabila emang kesenangan hanya sesaat, hiburan apa lagi yang ampuh doooooong?

Lately my mind is my own

Banyak hal, banyak konflik
pertanda kehidupan bukan?
hahahahaha yaa kalo ga ada konflik ga hidup.
kalo kata mata pelajaran sosiologi, konflik itu ada secara alamiah
karena manusia itu banyak, dan pikiran tiap manusia itu berbeda..
jadi bagaimana pun hidup itu sebenernya lebih asik ada konflik
TAPI bukan berarti selalu nyari konflik loh! :p

gimana pun kita berpikir, itu bukan buat siapa - siapa,
bersyukur kalo memang opini yang dipikirkan itu bermanfaat
kalo ga, ya udah.. yang penting apa yang dipikirkan dikeluarkan
kalo kebanyakan pikiran malah makin mumet.. ga enak lah

saya disini mencoba belajar memposisikan saya sebagai orang lain
saya mengerti bagaimana setiap orang dengan sangat egois memberi opini,
yang mungkin tanpa sadar bagi saya seakan memaksa untuk berpikiran hal yang sama

saya benci kata memaksa,
mungkin lebih baik diawali kata "mungkin", "opini saya pribadi", atau apalah itu
yang ga harus memaksakan apa yang kita pikirkan bisa diterima orang..

salah kata, malah ngebuat orang lain benci, marah, mungkin dendam parahnya...
tapi kalo ga setuju, malah dipaksa ngikut apa yang dia bilang
dan pengen banget bilang

" HEY, THIS WORLD WAS NOT CREATED FOR LIVING YOUR LIFE ONLY! "

berhubung saya udah kebanyakan dosa, dan ga sengaja nyakitin orang,
ujung - ujungnya cuma bisa bilang "ya kali?"

EGOIS ya jadi diri sendiri? hadeeeeh dunia kok semakin complicated?

Dear People

Bring tomorrow's back to your smile
there are so many things we could do,
more than just yesterday, more than just today
That's why GOD called us to be alive.


we can't say NO to live more than just a day,
its such unwritten things to feels about, thankful never ends.

GOD, please shining us with your grace..
you will never leave us alone, won't YOU?
even I ever lost, and drowning more than just years..
you just to hold my heart to stand up again and again

I feel good
I feel proud, i can smile while all the pains and regrets still haunting me.
I'm scared, but i could say lot of times to call YOU, as my beloved one and only.
YOU're my PRECIOUS, YOU're my WARRIOR, YOU're MY EVERYTING,
because YOU're MY GOD, MY ALLAH...

new month

yippieee, we are at the end of months,
which is we're going tooo..*drummer effect* DECEMBER!!
haha and I'm still awake at this late,
well i got something interesting song
from my favorite band, called evanescence.
and i just realized they made new albums,hahahaha =P
still cool to hear, all that melody i want to hear
and all that lyrics seems to describe ME

i love their new song!!! really nice,
and i just addicted to hear "Missing"
sooooo great! hahaha i should leave korean wave of music,
then move away to my lovely band, evanescence.
i should hear their new songs again n again =9

sore throat

mungkin sakit ini bukan karena musiman,
tapi ini teguran karena udah mendustakan nikmat yang sebenarnya..
tapi ga apa, dengan begitu saya mendapat nikmat restu untuk meliburkan diri :p

saya salah kalau saya hanya mengeluh,
saya tau saya lelah menghadapi bosan, karena saya hanya terdiam!

mungkin saya akan menjauh dari aktivitas internet(kecuali e-mail/googling/download)
tapi blog ini akan tetap dipertahankan..

karena saya hobi menulis, dan saya akan merombak habis blog ini

yaaa sudahlah Desember ini akan jadi penentu Revolusi Januari 2011
I HAVE TO MOVE ON! AS SOON AS I GOT LATE, ehehehehe

IMA, FIGHTING!!!